They call it identity dissonance
This could well be a politically incorrect post, and maybe admitting to more than I would in real life. Oh what the heck! thats what anonymous blogs are for.
So, I am sitting in a hugely lavish boardroom, with a wonderful view over Amsterdam, with five big men in black suits, blond hair and blue eyes, and did I forget to mention, about a feet taller than I am. I am supposed to be an active participant in their, or rather our, very important conversation, but my mind insists on wandering away. What the hell am I doing here? I mean, really. If we were part of an IQ test question to pick out odd one out (remember those questions they used to have on every damn test), this would by far be the easiest question. And in walks in a bright young chick carrying coffee and sandwiches, probably from Surinam - and somehow, I feel an odd connection. I could probably relate to her more than my five wonderful colleagues. At least, we could talk about PMS or bitch about boys, or maybe the great shoe shop down the street.
Before this turns out to be a random rant, I will inject it with some high flying scientific terms (pardon me for my rather ill-written posts these days, at the end of the day, this is just about all I can manage, and I really wanna keep this blog alive. Hopefully I will try and balance out with better quality in weekends). Anyways, back to what I was saying - apparently, its not just me. The whole syndrome is called a professional identity disorder. Where you can’t associate yourself with your job. Now, I am pretty sure I don’t have it, coz this was a rather rare moment, but I totally get it - I totally get why it would be hard for some people to fit into some jobs. And isn’t that a real pity? We are not talking about any kind of discrimination or anything, just a deep subconscious clash of identities, a clash that occurs because somehow we decided some identities go better with some jobs.
In an interview with Carrie Yang Costello, the author of “Professional Identity Crisis: Race, Class, Gender, and Success at Professional Schools”Scott McLemee of Inside Higher Ed, writes this:
“One of the most durable metaphors used in making sense of the world treats social life as a kind of theatrical performance. Each of us is playing a part — more or less comfortably, more or less convincingly — while burdened, often enough, by the need to improvise “in character.”
“This idea is more than a Shakespearean conceit. It’s implicit in the sociological notion of “role,” for example. And it also helps make sense of what happens when people learn to play that type known as “the professional” — a much-sought social role, usually accompanied by substantial benefits in income, and even more in prestige.
Essentially, what it means is that, we all think fit a role, or a character. And when our job deviates a lot from that character, then we have what they call PID (I am not sure anyone else uses that acronym). Here’s a short extract from Amazon’s summary of the book:
The fact that women and people of color tend to underperform at professional schools is a source of controversy. Conservatives blame affirmative action, while liberals blame intentional discrimination. The extensive research reported in Professional Identity Crisis belies both conspiracy theories.
(..) the disproportionate success of white men can be explained by the fact that they are more likely to acquire appropriate professional identities swiftly, with little inner conflict. Students from less privileged backgrounds, however, suffered from “identity dissonance.”
“For example, Jasmine, a Filipino student from Los Angeles, explained, “In the legal culture you have to adopt a different way of being, a different vocabulary and way to carry yourself . . . That’s how I got this far. And when I go home, if I act the way I do here, they won’t get it. My cousins and my friends say, ‘You’re kind of whitewashed.’ And when I come back here I have to get back my law style.”
So, what do we do? Sit back and let they world pass by. Oh hell, no! lets fix this identity crisis, shall we? Where are all the women in this country? Can they come to work please? Lets change the corporate diversity equation a bit, and add a discussion on the latest Gucci bags on every agenda!
Thats the big rhetoric . As for tomorrow, I will exchange a friendly smile with Martha, our coffee lady.
Update: I didn’t mean this to be a feminist post. Because I think its a broader issue. If anyone has any views on how a man of color fares in a largely European corporation or how a white man feels, say in an Indian company, I am all ears.
